The World Inside Us.
Still from the production diary. Also, a pretty good Serpico (1973) costume.
Aloha,
If you are just joining us, welcome. Darieus Legg is an independent animator, filmmaker, and surfer.
These are journal entries about…
…making an independent animated surf documentary called, Stoker Machine.
Dear Reader,
Between the re-writes, new edits, storyboarding, and having a healthy life outside of work, the blog will be going on a temporary pause. Next week, you will receive a production diary video I made just for you. Because you are a subscriber, you will see it first, then the video will be posted onto social media.
I will be stepping away from the blog until the film is complete. The website will still be active! So check in whenever your web surfing, you never know what you might find!
The day after Thanksgiving, limited art prints and Stoker Machine film merchandise will be for sale. As a subscriber you will get first look and dibs before anyone else. The proceeds will go to funding post-production. The Stoker Machine film website is going live around Thanksgiving too! Expect a survey around that time because your feedback will have an impact on the blog in 2023.
All of this seems like a no brainer right?
Not for me. Especially when I see the website viewership numbers growing and it feels like if I don’t keep posting and doing everything at once, I’ll lose an important audience member. However, that mentality is akin to being a rat on the wheel. Which I am not. Trying to do everything at once is a recipe for nothing getting done. I have a hunch, that the people who read this blog, prefer quality over quantity. So in the interest of delivering quality work to you and for myself, the blog-pause is necessary.
Scenes from the Stoker Machine film.
WHAT’S GOING DOWN:
Spending September - December (2022) finishing Stoker Machine. I’m so proud of the way this film came out!
A production diary video is the last blog post of 2022. Drops next week. The blog will resume in 2023. The website will be active the whole time.
Limited prints and Stoker Machine merchandise will be for sale the day after Thanksgiving. The merchandise might make the perfect Christmas gift for you or that surfer in your family. Subscribers will get first looks and access before anyone else.
THE CLOSE-OUT
Because this is the last note in 2022. I want to share something deeply personal.
I believe there are two worlds. The outer world and the inner world.
Do you ever enter the water and get completely fixated on catching waves, or what other surfers are doing, that you miss all the beauty surrounding you?
I sometimes do.
That’s why before entering the water I’ve been doing a check-in. I ask myself a few questions to bring me back to the present moment. I take a minute to intentionally remember a few things, big or small, that I’m grateful for. I also take a minute to appreciate that I’m a kind, and supportive brother, son, and friend.
We can be so hard on ourselves sometimes, that we forget we are more than our thoughts and feelings, can’t we?
Sometimes these check-in’s are right before I lock-up and head down the trail to the beach. The walk is more pleasant. I give “hello’s” to people on the trail. This grateful and appreciative mindset, is a metronome for the rest of the session.
I find it incredibly powerful not to allow what other people say, or do, dictate my attitude or behavior. I don’t want what happens in the outer world, to effect my inner world.
I am talking about ninety percent of the stuff that happens to me on a daily basis. Someone cuts me off in traffic. A person ignores my “good morning”. Partner doesn’t open up as much as I’d like her too. Didn’t get the food we paid for. Didn’t get the raise and promotion I deserve. Headline news. Someone cuts me off surfing. Waves have been terrible for a month straight. Pizza’s cold. Things like that.
There are billions of other things, like the weather, what people do, say, tweet, post, etc. that I cannot control. How I show up to each moment though, is in my control. That may seem crazy at first, maybe it is, but with commitment and doing the work, it’s true, I’ve gotten so much better at choosing an internal state of being. It’s like being the weather master of my inner world. The waves can be firing, waters warm, and the suns out all day. That is the world that needs the most tending. My inner world. When it’s dark and stormy in there, it’s residual effects on the outer world are negative.
Imagine a skill that allows you to not be over run and misguided by your thoughts and feelings. How much better would we sleep at night?
I believe tending to the inner world might be the single most important skill any of us ever learn. Aside from “learning how to learn”, it is the other meta skill that makes life a pleasant experience, despite the never ending obstacles happening on the outside.
I think some yogi once said, “Can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” Boy was he, or she, right.
At first, taking a new responsibility, like controlling how I respond to the weather of my inner world, seemed impossible. Overwhelming. You might have seen this play out before, like when we entered adult life. All of a sudden there are a bunch of things that need tending too that we never thought about before. It was like that for me.
When I was a teenager and saw how much responsibility my parents had on their plate; and how many more kept piling up, the weight of being an adult crippled me. I was afraid inside. Then I got advice one day. Shane Dorian told me to break my responsibilities into smaller more manageable tasks instead of trying to do everything at once. Take things on, one at a time.
Taking on a new responsibility, even if it’s in our inner world - works like this too. When I decided to try various methods of not allowing my thoughts and feelings over run me, it was like trying to pick up a hundred pound dumbbell. So I moved down the line a bit, started with the ten pounders. Lite mental exercises which have huge impacts on how I respond to my inner world. This has compounding effects in the outer life. More patient. Less defensive. Take things less personal. I saw the difference when life hurled a few jackasses at me and I was shocked how graceful I handled them. That was the “aha” moment. I was like, this stuff works. Then little by little, I worked myself up to handling the heavy stuff. The dark stormy weather that brews up inside all of us from time to time.
Heavy stuff to me is when someone you love says; or does, hurtful things. The question I ask? How am I choosing to show up right now? Am I going to be pissed? Am I going to be curious?
When shit hits the fan, this super subtle moment is everything.
Why?
1.) I’m in control of me. I’m not reacting.
2.) More moves on the chess board become available when we are not on auto-pilot, reacting.
3.) Choosing a response, instead of reacting, puts you in the driver seat of your mind.
Stepping up and taking responsibility for our inner world is an ultra super duper powerful thing. It’s a skill I wish everyone would give a chance. Maybe if more of us tended to our inner world frequently, instead of worrying so much about what’s happening in the news, social media, and gossip in general - the outer world would take care of itself. Like it has long before us humans entered the picture.
Back in the surf line-up.
A simple surf, despite wave conditions can be a pleasant experience, if I allow it to be. A simple surf with a bunch of wave warriors barking at each other and me can be a pleasant experience, if I allow it to be.
It all starts back up the trail, before I get out of the car, by taking a moment to be grateful and appreciative. Those are the six foot and glassy type of conditions I like to keep in my inner world.
BONUS SECTION:
I am reposting my reel here incase you missed it last week. I had to take it down and remove a few clips of content. So this is the new and improved version.
